Reason #140 – My Dad…AGAIN

I was in the city for an exam and Dad was in the city drinking with colleagues so I agreed to meet him at the bar and he’d drive me home.

My Dad was introducing me to everyone when he got to a boy about my age he stopped. He placed his hand on my shoulder and nodding at the boy said, “this is a Fulham supporter. You’re a Norwich supporter. Incompatible…Now that’s out of the way, this is Tom.”

Yep.

Reason #102 – I thought it was a good idea for a date…

If you read my last post, I had a boy over to watch a football (EPL) match with me.

Yep. That’s my idea of a date.

 

Reason #101 – Nightlights and Confessions

So I a couple of weeks ago I had a boy over to watch football with me. 

He went to use the bathroom and when he came back, I of course managed to put my foot in it:

Him: Are you afraid of the dark?
Me: No! Is this about the nightlight?
Him: It’s just there are a lot of lights on when you’re here by yourself…wait what? *Starts laughing*
Me: It’s not what you think!
Him: *raises eyebrow*
Me: I keep tripping over at night so Dad put a nightlight in the hall so I can see where I’m going… not that it helps…
Him: *laughing again*

Reason #99 – I’ve got 99 problems…

And this is the main one.

I am sick of mixed signals.

I am sick of fucking mind games.

Following up on the “slow fade” thing, I read some of the comments posted by users and one girl said if he takes a day to respond to a text, you should too. Don’t look desperate.

We are not 5.

Why do we still have to do this?

Why can’t I just tell someone I like them outright?

Or am I supposed to write one of these notes and get a friend of a friend to pass it to him?

Still hating on men…

And this is why I need Taylor Swift;

She gets it.

 

Reason #98 – Because this is apparently a thing now

Reason #98 – Because this is apparently a thing now

Well… at least I know I’m not alone with this problem…

Reason #50 – Bed

I can’t sleep in an unmade bed. It’s an OCD/neat freak thing. 

I have a fitted sheet over the mattress that I lie on then I have a flat sheet, which I fold over the top edge of the quilt and then I have a blanket folded at the base of my bed. 

It’s not fun when you mess it up. I will remake it while you’re in the bed if I have to!

I find people who also make their beds attractive and yes, because it’s me, I have managed to turn this into an awkward situation.

Me: Why is your bed made?
Hot boy: I like a certain level of neatness.
Me: You make your own bed!?
Hot boy: Yeh…
Me: That’s really hot!
Hot boy: What…?
Me: [kisses him to distract him.]

And just in case you were wondering, this was the same boy from Reason #36.

 

Reason #38 – I don’t do sexy

I’m like Liz Lemon when it comes to being sexy.

It just doesn’t work.

Reason #37 – Spiders

I am afraid of spiders.

I expect you to kill them for me.

If I see one near my bed I will scream and run to you for help. You are to kill it and remove the body! If I hear you say “ooops” and the spider has vanished, we will have issues.

Reason #36 – I am awkward

I’m quite socially awkward and unlike Zooey Deschanel, I don’t have the ability to turn it into “adorkable,” I just come across as really awkward. 

Why can’t I own my awkwardness like Zooey!?!

I can start a conversation, I can do small talk, that’s fine. It’s when the conversation/date progresses and then moves to silence that I begin to struggle. 

To me all silences seem awkward. This will lead to me blurting out the first thing that pops into my head.

These are real examples of my awkwardness. Cringe away.

Example 1
Me: You’re actually smart aren’t you?
Hot boy: What?
Me: Well, you don’t act like a nerd like me.
Hot boy: I prefer the term geek.
*2 second silence.*
Me: I don’t like the term geek because historically a geek was a performer in freak shows who bit the heads of chickens.
Hot boy: Why do you know that?
Me: I am just going to stop talking now.

Example 2
*Sitting and talking with hot boy. He holds my hand and smiles at me. Conversation stops. I look down at his hand.*
Me: Your fingernails are really dirty.
Hot boy: What?
Me: [Thinking] Damn you hyper observant skills!

Yep. Also these 2 conversations were with the same guy (not on the same day thankfully!) And I wondered why he didn’t text me back….

Reason #17 – Unhealthy competition

Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation once said;

Guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something they love.

 

Leslie goes hunting with Ron to prove she’s “one of the boys.”
Parks and Recreation Season 2 Episode 10 – The Hunting Trip

Yeh, that’s not entirely true…

I have beaten male partners at video games and it usually ends in them sulking and claiming I cheated or they “weren’t trying.” *Cue eye roll*