Tag Archives: Uncoordination

Reason #134 – Twas Convenience, Not Curiosity, that Killed the Cat

As mentioned in my previous post I can be lazy, that’s why I was so excited by the innovation that is spray-on moisturiser. It’s so easy! No bending or trying to figure out the right amount needed – just spray and rub in and you can get all those hard to reach places, it’s like a triple win!

Picture of Palmers spray moisturiser

In case you wondered, this is the moisturiser I’m using and no I am not getting paid to promote it (though I wish I was!)

Now, you’re probably wondering what this has to do with…well…anything. OK here’s the problem, while spray is very convenient and quick (and ok, fun!) it has a downside. It gets on the floor and makes it slippery.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you will know that I am quite possibly the most uncoordinated person on this planet, so what do you think happens when I use spray moisturiser? Yep. I slip. While a normal, rational and reasonable person might think, “well maybe I just won’t use it anymore,” I have a very annoying little voice in my head whining at me, “but it’s just soooo easy!!”

Warning slippery floor sign

I make slipping look fun!

I had reached an impasse. That’s when I had a brilliant idea – I will stand in the shower when I spray. I can just feel you rolling your eyes at me and thinking, “oh my God, what a moron.” Yes. It was a stupid idea. Shower is already slippery. Adding slippery moisturiser means it’s MORE slippery. So I still slip and I also end up cleaning the shower afterwards so it probably ends up taking the same amount of time that it would have if I had just used ordinary moisturiser. But the nagging voice persists.

So yes, despite all this, I will still use spray-on moisturiser and I will still complain about its slippery-ness. Don’t try to change me. Just accept the fact that my laziness might one day kill me.

See, t’was truly convenience, not curiosity, that killed the cat (the cat being me).

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Reason #120 – Unsexy and Uncoordinated

As I have mentioned in previous posts I lack co-ordination and am probably one of the least sexy people on the planet. Today I found out what happens when these two traits combine (and become tangled together in a very un-sexy way.)

I go into a bakery to get lunch. I put my sunglasses on my head when I walk in, because I’m not a rockstar (yet!)

I buy my food. I turn to leave and a cute guy walks in. I smile and go to slide my sunglasses back down only to find they’re stuck in my fringe. 

I run out of there as fast as I can without risking falling. 

Image of woman with sunglasses tangled in hair

The perils of being a woman with bangs…
Image from Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/micahv/3727881312/?rb=1

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Reason #101 – Nightlights and Confessions

So I a couple of weeks ago I had a boy over to watch football with me. 

He went to use the bathroom and when he came back, I of course managed to put my foot in it:

Him: Are you afraid of the dark?
Me: No! Is this about the nightlight?
Him: It’s just there are a lot of lights on when you’re here by yourself…wait what? *Starts laughing*
Me: It’s not what you think!
Him: *raises eyebrow*
Me: I keep tripping over at night so Dad put a nightlight in the hall so I can see where I’m going… not that it helps…
Him: *laughing again*

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Reason #68 – Kitchen appliances

As I may have mentioned before, kitchen appliances are my mortal enemy.

If I’m not burning myself on the toaster the toaster is burning my toast because I can never get the heat setting right.

I have managed to super-heat milk in the microwave because the heat settings are screwed up (I assure you it was not my fault…although the time I set it on fire in an unrelated incident may have been…)

I have burnt oven gloves and then myself getting something out of the oven (I forgot the top of the oven was also hot.)

I often spill boiling water when using the kettle.

And I’m sure there’s some horror story involving me and the fridge that I just can’t think of at the moment. 

Yesterday I won a coffee machine. This just means there is now one more appliance to cause harm to me.

Whoever said women belong in the kitchen obviously never met me.

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Reason #65 – When cooking and uncoordination combine

I managed to burn myself on the toaster today.

That pretty much sums up my life.

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Reason #64 – My height

I’m not particularly tall or short, just average. 

The problem with this is it means sinks are always at crotch height and I have a horrible habit of leaning against them. So if I go to the bathroom, it ends up looking like I didn’t quite make it.


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Reason #51 – I scare people

I have a really bad habit of accidentally sneaking up on people. Apparently I’m very quiet when I walk around…until I actually have to be quiet…then I usually manage to trip something and make a very loud noise….or I make creeping music. (Reason #41)

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Reason #46 – I lack coordination

If I was an animal, I would be a penguin because I am extremely uncoordinated on land and more graceful in the water (well…not really…but I’m not usually in the water so no one has to check this.) 

(I really relate to this video.)

If When I fall over, you are not to laugh! You are to help me up and check I’m ok.

I might trip you in return so I don’t feel as stupid. 

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