Category Archives: It’s not me, it’s you.

Reason #133 – Presentation Matters (Unfortunately)

I am lazy. So very lazy.

If I’m not going out I don’t wear make-up, I don’t do my hair, I wear trackies and a big comfy hoodie. I like being comfortable.

Occasionally on one of my comfy, home-oriented days I feel the need to venture out into the great, wide world in search of food.

When venturing the 1km or so to my local shops or supermarket, I still don’t feel the need to do my hair and make-up or even change out of my trackies. I’m in public for 10 minutes at the most. But there are times when I wish I had made an effort. Such as when I run into cute boy. I worry that my appearance will mean he will overlook me, then I think, no. I’m not going to be interested in anyone who doesn’t give me the time of day just because I wear trackies in public or my hair is a mess.

If you don’t want to talk to me because of how I present myself, fine. It’s your loss.

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Reason #119 – The evolution of nicknames

You feel the need to give me a nickname, I get it, Elena is 3 syllables and can be a mouthful.

You want it to be something endearing, cute even.

It starts of as honey, that’s fine. I might roll my eyes at you if you use it in front of other people, but it’s acceptable. Then as time goes by it becomes “hon.” Then you want to use it in a text and try to type it on your iPhone and autocorrect changes it to “Hun” – not fine.

Unless you want me to start on a rant about how Huns were a tribe that existed in Europe and Asia between the first and eighth century and they are most famous for their leader Attila who attempted to invade the Eastern Roman Empire and take Rome and how I am nothing like them, I would stick to “honey” or better yet, a name that can’t be shortened to something that sounds like an ancient tribe I can lecture you on, purely for the sake of your sanity.

A Dilbert cartoon about the mis-use of the word Hun

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Reason #115 – Laugh at my jokes!

I like to think I’m funny so I expect you to laugh at my jokes, even if you don’t think they’re funny.

When I say something and then pause and look at you, that’s your cue to laugh. There will be trouble if you don’t.

Not sure if people don't get my humour or I'm just not funny.

Pretty sure you just don’t get my humour because I’m sure I’m hilarious…

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Reason #110 – Friends aren’t always the best way

Although Tinder is becoming more popular and accepted, there’s still a certain taboo and I often find I have to justify my use of it. Most people ask why I can’t just meet people through my friends.

Trust me, I've tried.

Trust me, I’ve tried.

Here’s why; that charmer from Reason #109 – yep, met him through a very close friend who assured me he was a good guy.

 

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Reason #109 – I don’t do Sunday evening booty calls

Or any evening booty calls for that matter.

This is the text conversation I just had with a guy I was seeing earlier in the year:
Him: What are you up to tonight?
Me: Not much. It’s a Sunday. What about you?
Him: Yeah I’ve got zero plans. I am kinda horny though…A lot
Me: Haha and you want to booty call me on a Sunday night?
Him: Yeah…so what if I do
Me: No thank you 🙂
Him: Ok. Fair enough.

At least he took rejection well…

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Reason #108 – Because sometimes Tinder can be totally honest

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I get the feeling he likes girl’s boobs…

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Reason #105 – Must love dogs…

…but not too much. 

I love animals, I honestly do. I don’t mind the dog occasionally sitting on the couch (or more likely on me) but I draw the line at the bed. 

I love animal cuddles but not in bed! The bed is a sacred place and it should not smell like wet dog!

So if your dog sleeps in your bed, I won’t!

 

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No matter how adorable this is (and it is INCREDIBLY adorable!), it’s not happening!

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Reason #100 – The Word Press Family Award

Dating, pfft! Who needs that when you have a loving and supportive family and that includes my WordPress family.

I started this blog because I was feeling lonely, coming out of such a strong, loving relationship it was a strange feeling to me. I needed someone to talk to about bad dates and the stupid things I do and after a few weeks here I felt instantly accepted. There are loads of people like me who struggling in the dating world and there are also loads of people who just have great stories to tell.

Thank you for letting me share my weirdness with you and for your constant support and encouragement. I am honoured that Lena Bitare chose to nominate me for the WordPress Family Award.

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Here are the rules:

  • Display the Award Certificate on your blog.
  • Announce your win with a post. Make sure you post a link back to me as a ‘thank you’ for the nomination.
  • Present 5 awards to 5 deserving bloggers (it’s supposed to be 15 bloggers but I have changed it to 5 not because I don’t think there are 15 people worthy of this award but because I’m lazy.)
  • Leave them a comment to let them know after you have linked them to a post.

The 5 people I would like to nominate (in no particular order) are:

Tired of Dating

Things my Ex Said

Online Dating – Why I’ll soon be a crazy cat lady

Stupid Cupid

When Strangers Kiss

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Reason #99 – I’ve got 99 problems…

And this is the main one.

I am sick of mixed signals.

I am sick of fucking mind games.

Following up on the “slow fade” thing, I read some of the comments posted by users and one girl said if he takes a day to respond to a text, you should too. Don’t look desperate.

We are not 5.

Why do we still have to do this?

Why can’t I just tell someone I like them outright?

Or am I supposed to write one of these notes and get a friend of a friend to pass it to him?

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Still hating on men…

And this is why I need Taylor Swift;

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She gets it.

 

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