Tag Archives: Rant

Reason #136 – I say it’s stupid but…

I am not a fan of body-shaming. As soon as someone publishes a new article about what the perfect person (or part of them, such as the oh-so-joyful thigh gap) looks like, I publicly start ranting about it. Twitter, Facebook, friends and sometimes even here, I will condemn the objectification of our bodies (both women and men) and talk about positive body image, individuality, beauty being skin deep, blah blah blah. I sound like I don’t care if I have a thigh gap or bikini bridge or whatever new reason we’re not perfect is, but secretly I do.

The Daily Mail published this article the other day about the newest body ideal for us to obsess over, the “nipple meridian.” Joy.

So, being the Daily Mail who’s regular readers don’t erm… read…they included a helpful diagram

Infographic from the Daily Mail of the nipple meridian

The Nipple Meridian – The Daily Mail’s guide

Basically the attractiveness of breasts is based on a 45:55 ratio. Yep. 45% above the nipple and 55% below.

You don’t have to tell me this is stupid. I know it is. It’s proven by the fact it was published in the Daily Mail. I’ve already written about my hatred of being judged based on my appearance (most recently here) but after reading this (well not the Daily Mail, I read an article in the Age about how stupid the article in the Daily Mail was) I instantly checked my own nipple meridian. Not only that, I almost contacted an ex to ask him if he thought my nipples were in the 45:55 ratio (note the use of the word almost, I realised that would be really insane and put the phone down).

This is not the first time I’ve done this. When I heard about the thigh gap I immediately jumped up and stood with my legs together in front of the mirror to see if I had one (if you must know, I didn’t). With the bikini bridge I instantly laid down and checked if there was a gap between my hip bones and abdomen (and I actually squealed with delight when there was).

I understand that these things are stupid (and in most cases unattainable) and I wouldn’t want to date anyone who wanted me to have a thigh gap but that doesn’t mean I’m not self-conscious.

Basically, I’m a hypocrite.

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Reason #119 – The evolution of nicknames

You feel the need to give me a nickname, I get it, Elena is 3 syllables and can be a mouthful.

You want it to be something endearing, cute even.

It starts of as honey, that’s fine. I might roll my eyes at you if you use it in front of other people, but it’s acceptable. Then as time goes by it becomes “hon.” Then you want to use it in a text and try to type it on your iPhone and autocorrect changes it to “Hun” – not fine.

Unless you want me to start on a rant about how Huns were a tribe that existed in Europe and Asia between the first and eighth century and they are most famous for their leader Attila who attempted to invade the Eastern Roman Empire and take Rome and how I am nothing like them, I would stick to “honey” or better yet, a name that can’t be shortened to something that sounds like an ancient tribe I can lecture you on, purely for the sake of your sanity.

A Dilbert cartoon about the mis-use of the word Hun

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