Tag Archives: Dad

Reason #140 – My Dad…AGAIN

I was in the city for an exam and Dad was in the city drinking with colleagues so I agreed to meet him at the bar and he’d drive me home.

My Dad was introducing me to everyone when he got to a boy about my age he stopped. He placed his hand on my shoulder and nodding at the boy said, “this is a Fulham supporter. You’re a Norwich supporter. Incompatible…Now that’s out of the way, this is Tom.”

Yep.

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Reason #125 – …and since I’m broke…

That means I still live at home.

Yep. 25 and still at home.

It makes any kind of dating hard when someone comes to pick you up for the first time and first date suddenly becomes Meet the Parents…except my Dad doesn’t have a lie detector…that I know of…

GIF image of Robert De Niro saying "watching you" in Meet the Parents

Image of Robert De Niro in Meet the Parents

My Dad is like this…except he hates cats…

 

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Reason #101 – Nightlights and Confessions

So I a couple of weeks ago I had a boy over to watch football with me. 

He went to use the bathroom and when he came back, I of course managed to put my foot in it:

Him: Are you afraid of the dark?
Me: No! Is this about the nightlight?
Him: It’s just there are a lot of lights on when you’re here by yourself…wait what? *Starts laughing*
Me: It’s not what you think!
Him: *raises eyebrow*
Me: I keep tripping over at night so Dad put a nightlight in the hall so I can see where I’m going… not that it helps…
Him: *laughing again*

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Reason #61 – The advice I get

I first had my heart broken by a boy at age 16.

I shut myself in my room and bawled my eyes out. Being the teenage drama queen I was I lamented that I would never love anyone else.

My parents came in to try and calm me down and coax me out of my room. They were going quite well, until Dad decided to try and empathise.

It’s all right Elena, I know just how you feel. Carol Vorderman never returned any of my letters.

And this is when my habit of throwing pillows at men first developed. 

Image

Carol Vorderman is known for her ass…I mean having an IQ of 154…

 

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Reason #2 – Daddy dearest

I’m a Daddy’s girl, as a result of this Dad is slightly overprotective and has a habit of scaring any guy that shows the slightest bit of interest in me. The problem is he doesn’t seem to realise he’s doing this…

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