Tag Archives: Life

Reason #132 – Conspiracy Theories

There are loads of conspiracy theories around and I’ll admit that I follow some of them but there’s a particular one that I often bring up and it’s one of my own:

LIDS

Yep. You read that right. Lids. The lids of bottles and jars in particular.

Picture of jar lids

Yep. Lids just like these!

I believe these are devices made by the devil himself!…Well not the devil, but by men.

Men realised that we women were evolving exponentially faster them and that soon they would no longer be needed. Therefore they created bottle and jar lids that women can’t remove themselves thus maintaining their usefulness! It’s a conspiracy dammit!

This is my general rant when I can’t open a bottle or jar. (And if I have PMS, as I stated in my previous post this is one of the things that will make me run around yelling “ELENA SMASH!”)

I hate being 25 and still having to have someone open my juice for me. I really, really do.

I know there are ways around this, I for one am a fan of using a knife to cut the seal open, but if you’ve been reading this blog you’ll know I’m very uncoordinated so that is a very bad idea.

Hence, this is all a ploy to encourage women to keep men around!

Rant over.

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Reason #129 – I’m a commitment-phobe

Yep. You read that right, I hate commitment.

In the evenings, when I have several hours before bed, I could sit down and watch a movie, but I just can’t commit to that amount of time.

I will happily sit on the couch and watch 2 to 3 hours of mindless television and I know that I could have easily watched a good movie in that time but that involves commitment. What if I need to go out or do something? I can’t just NOT finish a movie.

That’s why I choose TV, it’s like casual sex of entertainment. I can watch several 20 – 40 minute shows and if I need do something else in the middle of those 2 to 3 hours, I can just wait until the end of the episode. No strings, no commitment, no questions asked.

I usually find something really mindless or something I’ve already watched so I don’t even need to give it my full attention and can concentrate on more important things (yes, much of this blog has been written with the television on, meaning that one of these short little posts can take me several hours to write because I keep getting distracted by the television)

Don’t try and find logic in this, I really don’t think there is any…

 

 

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