Tag Archives: annoying

Reason #135 – Football Boots

As previously mentioned, I love football. I’m English, it’s basically my religion.

As I have also previously stated, I have OCD which means I have little quirks like I can’t wear odd socks.

Now usually my OCD has no effect on my enjoyment of football, until Puma decided to do this:

Picture of Puma's pink and blue boots

*eye twitch* WHY!!!!!!

These are the boots Puma designed for the Fifa 2014 World Cup. Now, knowing that I can’t wear socks that are even the slightest bit different, how do you think I feel about a pair of boots that are two totally different colours?!

Yep. I basically sit there, eye twitching, teeth grinding, muttering (and ok, occasionally yelling) about how much I hate Puma (with the occasional “FUCK YOU PUMA” thrown in there for good measure). I really struggled to watch the World Cup because of this. I had hoped these boots would be limited to the two weeks of the World Cup and when Premier League returned I would be safe to watch again. That’s when Puma decided to design some boots just for their sponsored Arsenal players:

Puma's odd Arsenal boots

Puma’s stupid special Arsenal boots

And Mario Balotelli also moved to Liverpool and insisted on continuing to wear his pink and blue boots.

I rant about this a lot and I spend much of a game or highlights show telling players to wear boots that are the same colour (if it’s live TV they can totally hear me!) It doesn’t help when the person watching with me (in this case my Dad) decides to further enrage me by shouting out things such as “did you see that? He hit it with his pink boot.” *GLARE*

Thank you Puma for ruining football for me and also inspiring me. I now plan to run for Fifa president purely so I can introduce a rule that says players are only allowed to wear plain black boots, with black laces, and a black or white sponsor logo.

Picture of blue and pink Puma boots in half blue and half pink box

They even come in a stupid box!!

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Reason #134 – Twas Convenience, Not Curiosity, that Killed the Cat

As mentioned in my previous post I can be lazy, that’s why I was so excited by the innovation that is spray-on moisturiser. It’s so easy! No bending or trying to figure out the right amount needed – just spray and rub in and you can get all those hard to reach places, it’s like a triple win!

Picture of Palmers spray moisturiser

In case you wondered, this is the moisturiser I’m using and no I am not getting paid to promote it (though I wish I was!)

Now, you’re probably wondering what this has to do with…well…anything. OK here’s the problem, while spray is very convenient and quick (and ok, fun!) it has a downside. It gets on the floor and makes it slippery.

If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you will know that I am quite possibly the most uncoordinated person on this planet, so what do you think happens when I use spray moisturiser? Yep. I slip. While a normal, rational and reasonable person might think, “well maybe I just won’t use it anymore,” I have a very annoying little voice in my head whining at me, “but it’s just soooo easy!!”

Warning slippery floor sign

I make slipping look fun!

I had reached an impasse. That’s when I had a brilliant idea – I will stand in the shower when I spray. I can just feel you rolling your eyes at me and thinking, “oh my God, what a moron.” Yes. It was a stupid idea. Shower is already slippery. Adding slippery moisturiser means it’s MORE slippery. So I still slip and I also end up cleaning the shower afterwards so it probably ends up taking the same amount of time that it would have if I had just used ordinary moisturiser. But the nagging voice persists.

So yes, despite all this, I will still use spray-on moisturiser and I will still complain about its slippery-ness. Don’t try to change me. Just accept the fact that my laziness might one day kill me.

See, t’was truly convenience, not curiosity, that killed the cat (the cat being me).

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Reason #4 – I think this is the funniest thing ever

I will laugh all the way through this Family Guy episode then sing Surfin’ Bird until someone shuts me up.

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