Reason #132 – Conspiracy Theories

There are loads of conspiracy theories around and I’ll admit that I follow some of them but there’s a particular one that I often bring up and it’s one of my own:

LIDS

Yep. You read that right. Lids. The lids of bottles and jars in particular.

Picture of jar lids

Yep. Lids just like these!

I believe these are devices made by the devil himself!…Well not the devil, but by men.

Men realised that we women were evolving exponentially faster them and that soon they would no longer be needed. Therefore they created bottle and jar lids that women can’t remove themselves thus maintaining their usefulness! It’s a conspiracy dammit!

This is my general rant when I can’t open a bottle or jar. (And if I have PMS, as I stated in my previous post this is one of the things that will make me run around yelling “ELENA SMASH!”)

I hate being 25 and still having to have someone open my juice for me. I really, really do.

I know there are ways around this, I for one am a fan of using a knife to cut the seal open, but if you’ve been reading this blog you’ll know I’m very uncoordinated so that is a very bad idea.

Hence, this is all a ploy to encourage women to keep men around!

Rant over.

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